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AVENGING 1

Maureen O'Kelly


AVENGING

THE PAST



Novel

 

Copyright 2001 by Maureen O'Kelly

 All rights reserved by the author.

 ...................................

The last thing Kim heard was the screeching sound when the little plane was smashed to pieces at the rocky side of the little hill. Then she became unconscious.
When she opened her eyes again, she was lying in such an ultramodern hospital-room, you can find in the best hospitals of French-Canada. The warm yellow color of the walls tried to give confidence to the casualties and a few pictures of flowers and landscape tried to comfort them. Dan was holding her hand an tears were running down his cheeks.
was he sobbing, not able to stop his tears, which were dripping down on his wife's hand. The wounded woman in its bandages and full with infusions, seemed not to be able to understand, what he said, she needed a long time to return to reality. His arms gave her a good feeling of safety. Whatever has happened with her, HE was near, HE was with her, any other thing was minor. Only after a long silence she understood, what might be the meaning of his words.

His voice broke and he turned his head because he wasn't able to look in the eyes of his wife, when she began to understand, what he meant. When the meaning of his words made a sense in her head, she screamed loudly and tried to move her wounded body. When she arrived with the help of her husband to take a look of the end of the bed, she saw, that the blanket which covered the place of her feet was unnaturally flat. She closed her eyes, screamed again and fainted. This shock was too much for her. Dan would possibly try all, to relieve her pain in the future, but at this moment he couldn't help her. So he posed the body of his wife carefully back and kissed her with all the love he was able to give. But Kim had to get through alone. When she woke up, she hold her eyes closed an thought, if it would be worth to live as a disabled person all the rest of her days. In her mind she saw her hitherto life like in a movie.

1.

KIM – YOUTH IN IRELAND


The mother of Kim, who had a very severe and strong character, told this one day her three years old daughter. Like all children at this age, Kim accepted the choice of her mother without any commentary. From now on two times a week the mother brought Kim in her car to the ballet-school, some miles away from their home and watched the results of her little daughter.
Kim was born in one of the most beautiful landscapes of southern Ireland, where small hills and green plains meet and where the well-known Irish Thoroughbred stud farms can be found. In a little town not very far away from the centre of the county the parents of Kim had built a big house some years before their daughter was born. The father of Kim, Lloyd O'Keary was a man with university education, his wife Arden had been for some years a ballet teacher before she met the president of a big food company and became his secretary. The house was too big for only one family, but when Kim was born, her grandmother, who just a few month after the birthday of Kim was widowed, lived with them and always told them, that the house was made to give three families a place where to live. But indeed the house was not built for to be separated in three. Basement, ground floor and attic storey were reachable only by one entry and one staircase. And for three families the garden was too small. Beside the house was only one garage, with no possibility to built another one. When Kim was born, the family had only one car, but sometimes her father came home with his company car and then the problems began. Nobody seemed to be able to understand, that it would be impossible that one day three families would live there, without any possibility of separation. In front of the house was a little garden, between the house and the garage was a corridor, closed by a heavy door and always locked. The bigger garden was behind the house, well closed by a very high fence of wire and reed. So no one was able to look in, as well as nobody was able to look out. High old trees around and in the middle of the garden left no much place for the child to play on the grass and see the sun. Behind the big entry-door was first a corridor, at the left side the study of Mr. O'Keary, at the right side a hall-stand and a small toilet. Then came another corridor, the door to the terrace, another to the sleeping room of the grandmother and a third to another corridor with doors to the basement, bathing room, kitchen and living room. From the corridor went the staircase to the upper floor, where the young family lived. There was one sleeping room for the parents of Kim, one living room, a bathing room with toilet, a kitchen which was never used, a small storeroom and behind this a very, very big room for the child. But most of the time Kim was living with her grandmother, while her mother and father were working. The grandmother was always cooking, going shopping, cleaning the house and working in the garden, while she was looking after the little girl. Lloyd O'Keary seemed not to take much care of his daughter, for the moment he had too much to do for his company, was coming home very late in the evening and leaving the house very soon in the morning. Until yet his wife was also working hard in the office, but now she was pregnant again, although she was already 38 years old. Kim's parents decided very late to get children, before they were traveling around the world and had other occupations for their free time. A child was always considered to be a burden. But now it was high time for a second child. The parents never seemed to think about, that they will be pensioners till the children will grow up. Arden never thought, that getting a baby so last, could be dangerous for her or the child. Kim's parents never worried about the future, neither in cause of their family, neither for money. Arden was the only child of her parents, Lloyd had two younger brothers, but one lived far away with his family and the other was the black sheep of the family, living in Great Britain since long time and without contact to the others. Kim's parents didn't take part in the social life of their village, didn't practice any sports, they hadn't any friends and seemed to think, that they are better than other people. They had no relationship with their colleagues or neighbors. The family was living in a social vacuum. All they did, they did it "in family". Traveling during the vacations or week-end trips, the family was always together – but alone! Kim never was allowed to meet other children, her mother said, that the others "are not good enough for my daughter!" The first 4 years in her life, Kim was always alone, most of the time with her grandmother, during the evenings and the weekends with her parents, too. While Arden was pregnant, sometimes she took her little daughter with her to the office. There Kim met her mother's boss, while her mother was doing her work. Kim was a very well-behaved child, she was playing for hours with some paper clip or drawing. The good "uncle" brought sometimes sweets with him or toys, for Christmas and Easter he sent always gifts. What Kim didn't know: he sent money to her mother, too. Each month, by mail, brought by the postman, because Kim's father wasn't allowed to knew about this.
And then, one day Kim's sister Maude was born. A lot of things changed very fast. Arden decided to stay at home and devote herself to the education of her daughters. But the grandmother was always cooking, shopping, cleaning the whole house and working in the garden.
Kim's voice was timid and pleading. With a questioning look to her mother, who was sitting on a chair and giving the bottle to the baby, Kim approached, stretching out her thin arms in direction of her little sister.
was the flat refusal of her mother, who couldn't or wouldn't understand, why Kim was always trying to approach the baby. She never thought, that she risked to set Kim against her sister, to make her jealous of the little thing, who claimed all time of her mother. First Kim was very happy, when one day her father was coming home with her mother and the baby and her mother told her, that she will stay at home forever. But very fast Kim was told, that the baby was taking all the time of her mother and that she wasn't able to do anything with her little sister. It was very hard to accept, that now she was at the second place and that the crying little something took the first place.

She put the baby who was sleeping into the cradle and turned out of the room, giving Kim a sign to follow her.







This was a lie, she knew it very well and it was hard to pronounce it, because she knew very well, that when Kim was a baby her mother worked an the grandmother took care of her, but it seemed to be better to don't say this. And really, Kim was reassured and thought in another way of her mother and sister. But one question rested.


laughed Kim. And she showed her grandmother with a big yawn, how boring were the games. In reality the parents tried to make a little genie of her daughter. Long before school she was told to write and count. And most of the games were educational games, less for fun. Kim was indeed a very quick minded girl. She knew a lot of fairytales by heart and when her mother or father missed out some words, she corrected them very fast. But there was no good mixture between educational games and others. Even her yearning for movement was restricted. Ballet became boring since she was alone with her teacher and there was nothing, to motivate the girl. She was only allowed to play in the garden, alone, isolated from all other persons. Without all possibility to take a look out. One day her grandmother asked her mother if she wouldn't allow her daughter to go to the kindergarten. But Arden strictly refused the only thought.

But Kim's mother was not convinced.
The grandmother had to accept the choice of her daughter concerning Kim's future. She considered to speak with her son-in-law, but Lloyd had accepted since his marriage with Arden, to submit himself to the strong character of his wife and to let things happen, how she decided. He was in fact satisfied, when his wife was organizing all these little things which can happen in life, going to the administrations etc. and he was not obliged to spent his rare time for this. Even the education of his girls was led in the strong hands of his wife. So the grandmother had no success, when she spoke with him. Kim's life continued to be like in a convent, without friends and freedom. Even when the family was on a week-end trip, she wasn't allowed to play with other children or to talk with them.

So or with other words Kim was always obliged to stay with her parents. Often she looked with jealousy to other children, playing together on the playground. Time passed and in her sharp mind she began to consider herself as indeed a girl of another, strange category. Whatever her parents told her, there must be some reality in their words, so she accepted slowly to be different from the others children. She never asked her parents why they considered themselves as different. Neither their origins – both were not nobles or extremely rich – neither their social background allowed to them to feel better than other people. But Kim had to accept the facts. When she grew up, she always kept herself very much to herself, often by her own wish. When Maude was big enough, the two sisters were always playing together – but alone! Kim often escaped into a dream world of horses and music and read books whenever she had a little free time for herself. The region was perfect for owning animals, even horses, but Kim's wish for any animal was never fulfilled. The old cat of her grandmother – badly accepted by Arden and hated by Lloyd - was dead, a new animal not in sight. Her mother had obliged Kim to stay at home until she had to go to school, so the first day at school was for Kim a day of anxiety et tears. She was the only child who had never met other children. Twenty girls and boys were laughing and speaking together, making jokes and playing games during the break. They knew each other since their very youth, as neighbors or from the kindergarten. Only Kim was alone and stayed alone, because she had never learned how to make friends. In a very court time Kim was known as an outsider. And her mother did more, to make an outsider of her daughter. She brought Kim early in the morning in her car to school and she picked up her daughter after school always saying that "the streets are full of dangers for a child". This extravagance harmed Kim much more, because the others, coming alone or with a parent at school, but on foot.

It was like an inquisition when she looked in her daughters eyes. Kim felt like at the Last Judgement and was so ashamed that she wished the ground would swallow her up, when she answered quietly:

answered the mother. So it was neither NO neither YES for the moment. Kim was sad, but a little hope stayed. Grandmother surely would answer in favorite for her, but father? She was never sure about her father's position. One time he said nothing and it was up to his wife to take a decision, another time he would decide in another way. So Kim was still waiting and the day of her birthday approached. One week before Kim's birthday her mother came into the children's room, while Kim was preparing her homework.
After this really stimulating speech, Arden began with the preparations. Kim was too happy to take care of what her mother's said. She ran to her sister and told her the victoriously result. Maude was as happy as her sister, that one time somebody was invited to their house. She was the ally Kim, who told her all, what she had on her mind. Day after day the ties of sistership grew and it was very rare, when they quarreled about something. Finally the great day arrived! The gifts had been brought to another room and even the flowers had been given for one day to the grandmother. When the two girls came with their mothers, Arden invited only the children to come in. With a few explications she sent the parents back, before she went upstairs.


The girlfriends looked at her in astonishment and silence.

said Arden to the mothers. Then she closed the door and looked at her daughter.












cried Maude, turned on her feet and ran back to the house. When Kim tried to follow her sister, her mother grabbed Kim's arm with her strong hand.
So she picked up the fish tank and Kim was obliged to carry the fishes. In the children's room her mother positioned the fish tank beneath the window and arranged it with plants and other little things. For one or two days the girls looked for, later they forgot it and their mother was obliged to feed and clean. She always sighed and complained the lot of extra time of work, but she never thought to get rid of the fish tank. The two girls often went to her grandmother and begged her, to ask their mother to buy them a little cat or dog to take care for and to love. Grandmother tried her best, but her daughter wasn't able to agree.
But grandmother had another opinion.

And so it was for a long, long time.
Kim was allowed to go to the birthday-party of her two girlfriends, but when she saw the difference between the funny, gaily hustle and bustle here and her strictly organized party under her mother's supervision there, she was ashamed for herself and her mother and searched any pretext, when other children invited her. Her mother found a new occupation for Kim, to shorten her free-time: She obliged her daughter to learn to play the recorder. The first time Kim was happy, because she met other children in the small group, the learned how to read music and played small songs together. Even there Kim's mother was always watching her daughter – and she was the only parent to do like this. But after a short time she decided, that Kim was better than the others and would learn much more an faster, when she would have private hours. So she searched for a teacher who was willing to give private hours to her girl. And she found!

 

 
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